Finding my true self by channeling the energy of the ghost of a Victorian boy
You may think, I’ve lost my mind. And to that I say, one cannot lose something they never had.
All my life, people have commented on how pale my skin is, dare I say, as if I was a sickly Victorian child? I frequently look out the window and ponder as I sip my morning tea. I often wish I had a fainting chaise when I over-exert myself, yet I always bounce back. In many large social settings, I sit and observe and speak only when spoken to. I’m easily excitable by cats and birds, and I tend to point at every flower I see regardless of who is in my company. And I do love a sweet treat, even if it might not suit my temperament. And with all that, I still manage to be in awe of the mundane beauty surrounding me. These are a few Victorian Ghost Boy Energy qualities that contribute to my perpetual lack of boredom.
Many friends and I have joked about my Victorian Ghost Boy Energy (VGBE, let’s make that a thing). There is a power in perceived invisibility, which both ghosts (and Victorian children) experience. We spend much of our time preoccupied with how people view us, from appearance to personality. But frankly, a ghost does not give a damn, and tell me that doesn’t sound freeing. I’ve often felt invisible in positive and negative ways. Even as I write this, I wonder if anyone will read or even care. On the flip side, if no one reads this, why don’t we take it to an absurd place? And if you do read this, I see you, fellow ghost.
Sure, some of the roots in this may have come from my strong only-child energy in my formative years. I did spend a lot of time alone, playing the violin, chasing the cat, drawing, and creating one-person productions of Gilbert and Sullivan operettas as any child would.
Beyond my childhood experiences, there was a recent internet trend titled “Things that would kill a Victorian child,” of whicn they would just list things like eating hot Cheetos to viewing the highly acclaimed film, “Cocaine Bear.” Now, I understand where these folks are coming from, but lest we forget that Victorian children were working in sweatshops and mines and often watched loved ones die from the common cold? There’s nothing soft about that. So VGBE is not about weakness but more about channeling the resilience, freedom, and curiosity of a young boy from Charles Dickens’ universe.
“How can I unleash my VGBE,” you ask? As I am a self-proclaimed expert in dated interests and melancholy, you’ve come to the right place.
Find a window and approach it. Watch the birds in the tree, make up stories about your neighbor, and observe the man screaming about the apocalypse.
If you do go outside and see something magnificent, take a moment, smell the flower, gaze upon the street art, befriend the neighborhood street cat (remember, you’re a ghost, no one can see you.)
Buy some Hot Cheetos. Open the bag in public. Eat the Cheetos and find yourself very much alive and thrilled by the explosion of flavor in your mouth.
